Is the Finnish Prime Ministress finished?
Is the Finnish Prime Ministress finished?
’T looked like a lame-ass party but there was drinking and there was blow so she said she’d take a drug test and...
I LIVE FROM WHAT OTHERS
DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME.
—Peter Handke1
The Finnish Prime Ministress anchovy named Sanna seems to be a gift that keeps on episiodically giving as apparently she was partying then she was kissed by not her husband and then she had lesbians exposing their mammae in anchovy’s official residence toilet.
Let’s quickly pause for a small disclaimer and state that since no ‘anchovy’ exists in the government of Finland and what’s more the word ‘Ministress’ is completely made up nothing could really happen to any anchovy and or Ministress therefore all persons and events described here are fictional and the Present Writer, or the PW for short, who is me (pronouns he/him) writes about things that never happened and persons that don’t exist and hearing all that hopefully puts the Present Reader who you are at ease while having to perform reading gymnastics on a text that contains no commas and nine periods.
Anyways the Prime Ministress anchovy was filmed going wild with some yuppies in what looked to the PW like a lame-ass party but there were booze and blow involved and the next day anchovy said that yes she was doing liquor but not much and only liquor because she is at all times ready to fulfill her duties as Prime Ministress and as she publicly apologized and publicly wept because of something that she did that she said wasn’t wrong she also said she would take a drug test and release the results to the public and then she had the test done and they said it was clean but the results where not released and anyway some people said that it was no good because for blow you gotta test right away not after three days and other people said that it was fine to party because anchovy is human like any other man in the street only more so because anchovy is a woman but the others retorted that if they were upset with anchovy it was because she is the Prime Ministress and therefore her behavior isn’t appropriate for a political figure not only in partying but also in the seen-as-a-weakness public weeping.
Before the Present Reader continues to read further may the PW digress in order to make his intentions clear and assure the Present Reader that the PW’s writing at hand is meant for him to be a way of the sharpening of wit (a playful judgment) where controversy might turn out to be to his advantage in order for him to correct his thoughts and awaken new views and going further should the PW find himself failing in the sharpening of wit he might be led into dishonest tricks and in cauda veneum conclude by being rude but that is precisely what he will in Deo speramus strive to avoid as he will try not to say to himself that he can write whatever he pleases for if everyone is at liberty to be a fool—desipere est jus gentium—as some of defenders are fond of saying in anchovy’s defence then so is the PW at the same liberty by the same token.2
So after the party video leaked many feeble-minded city-dwelling SSRI-intoxicated European women decided there was nothing wrong with anchovy’s behavior but everything wrong with the accusations of incompetence and impropriety directed at anchovy and the women decided to stand united with her by posting clips of themselves all hash-tagged #SOLIDARITYWITHSANNA but they weren’t standing only dancing which in the PW’s view didn’t really help anchovy because those dances were cringe.3 But anyways what happened next was that anchovy was also secretly filmed being kissed on the neck as she danced with a male Finnish pulp culture star and some sources said that he is married and she is divorced and other sources said that she is married and he divorced but as soon as that video had been leaked anchovy said there’s nothing wrong with relaxing.
Next it’s been reported that in Hellsinkee anchovy keeps an official residence at the tax payers’ expense and in that residence she threw up another party where apparently according to the photo posted in all its digital cheerfulness two influencer-kind of lesbian women who lifted their blouses were snogging one another and exposing their balconies but one of the women covered her mammary glands with a banner which had FINLAND written on it and then citizens saw the photo and anchovy reportedly commented that while it is inappropriate for this sort of a photo to be shown nothing special was taking place at her house party and reportedly some people by now started saying louder than bombs that anchovy shouldn’t party so much as there is a war next door and others were voicing their upset that anchovy distracts herself from dealing with the energy crisis and rising interest rates and galloping inflation and break down in services for the elderly and problems with national health care and what’s more they’re upset that anchovy is bringing ‘Suomen tasavalta’ into NATO but some other people said that what upset them the most wasn’t the topless lesbian kiss in the toilets of the Prime Ministress’ official residence but that covering the breasts with FINLAND was the obscene part anyways the PW doesn’t believe they’re right because he thinks they’re just some nationalist ignorant uptight far-right misogynists engaged in hate speech and defying rule-based world order.
In any case the PW has been told by a philosopher that politics is strategic action and for this reason it inhabits a realm of secrecy and that transparency cripples politics therefore it follows that the end of secrecy would be the end of politics but nobody cares and somehow in the end neither does the PW care because how can politics end more than once as he thinks that politics ended long before the transparency society began namely on September 11th of 2001 if not earlier in 1945 at the time of Hiroshima and Nagasaki if not earlier at the time of Nazi German camps if not earlier in Verdun if not earlier at the time of the French Revolution if not earlier oh let’s forget it for now.
Presently coming to conclusions the PW would like to propose that since “politicians” of today no longer want to be measured by their actions but instead through compulsive staging they strive to distract and direct the attention of phono sapiens to be concerned with the politician-as-a-person and their signals of virtue and their intimate details and their private matters and if politicians who psychologize and personalize everything are willing to present their persons through staging to be exhibited on platforms such as facebooks and twitters in order to promote their i.e. the politicians’ compassionate agendas while scoring imaginary election points then the same politicians must be prepared for that very tyranny of intimacy to spectacularly backfire as it seems to be a hell of a double-edged sword. What the PW does probably see clearly is that women who have been elected to bureaucratic power since women have acquired voting rights stand as an easily understandable cause of the vulgarization and infantilization of present-day politics. The distasteful childish politics combined with the inflow of immigrants from backward countries and the autocratic rule by women and men as decision-makers high on the autism spectrum disorder all have today much greater influence than before. A forbidden question that no one is able to formulate is whether the female way of unthinking has destructive effects on our civilization. Lastly the PW is fed up with accusations of misogyny directed at people who criticize their government officials in those nations like Finland where not only the Prime Ministress is female but a majority if not all of the ruling coalition party leaders are female too4 but nevertheless the PW hopes that anchovy continues to be the majority-chosen Prime Ministress and continues to fight for and exercise her right to party because we all live in a world where for the past two-and-a-half years you gotta fight for your right to party but the PW’s even bigger hope is that European emotional housewives will stand united with anchovy Sanna again and post topless photos of themselves all over the anti-social media as the PW cheers for all tender-hearted female public figures especially those in our benevolent governments and please don’t send the PW to a re-education camp where he’d be forced to watch women’s football—unless the players are showing at least a nip slip and maybe on Sundays there’d be a catfight.5 And should the PW be sent to a re-education gulag, may he emerge and return home with the following song on his desiccated lips:
In halls of power where decisions are made,
Stand female leaders, unafraid.
Through diversity of thought, collaboration at heart,
To effective policy, they impart.
Essential steps towards equal representation,
For comprehensive societal transformation.
Like lighthouses guiding ships at sea,
They lead with wisdom, for all to see.
Resilient in strife, transformative in rule,
In the game of leadership, they’re no one’s fool.
To equity’s shore, their decisions chart the course,
Guided by a power that knows no remorse.
Recall Sanna Marin, Finland’s pride,
In her progressive outlook, we confide.
Remarkable leadership, integrity so clear,
A youthful perspective, we hold dear.
She’s redefined landscapes, political and real,
A testament to the strength women feel.
May she return, her power reinstated,
To continue the change she’s so skilfully curated.
THE END
UPDATE: Joking aside. Two things. 1. Anyone who makes a good claim to serve the happiness of women can count me among his or her supporters. 2. In June 2023, we note that the Finnish prime minister who was booted in April 2023—the Young Global Leader Sanna Marin, the leader of Finland’s feminist government seats—has been outpaced by Conservatives. But she completed what some say was expected of her by “an office behind the Finnish Prime Minister’s office”: took Finland into NATO.
Thanks for reading “The Flying Fish”. As always, I kiss you on the mouth. In lumine tuo videbimus lumen.
Tomasz Goetel
26 August AD 2022
Ibiza, Spain
Peter Handke Am Felsfenster morgens (SALZBURG RESIDENZ 1998) p.336 as quoted in Byung-Chul Han The Transparency Society (2015) Stanford University Press. Epigraph.
This paragraph contains several paraphrases by me the Present Writer (PW) from Arthur Schopenhauer The Art of Controversy And Other Posthumous Papers ([London: Allen & Unwin Ltd. 1896] edited and translated by T. Bailey Saunders) XXXVIII p.45-48. By the way where as quoted by Meister Arthur in the same volume Voltaire said: La paix vaut encore mieux que la vérité (which as I checked means peace is even better than truth) well Voltaire was wrong. How was V. wrong? I don’t think there’s a simple answer to that but I’m willing to give it a go. If the world is a horror then there is no peace possible. Perhaps with the exception of man’s being at peace as he avoids the contemplation of the truth of the world as a horror. How is the world a horror? Here’s how: “If you had to say something definitive about the world in a single sentence what would that sentence be? It would be this: The world has created no living thing that it does not intend to destroy.” (Cormac McCarthy, Stella Maris [2022]).
The Present Writer (PW) lived in America and Asia for twenty six years before his return to Europe in 2020 and he believes that in his absence European women have gone completely mad. European women seem to not only want to be like men but seem to be like men not like women and at the same time it is men that they despise.
“Who are those people? Who are those people?”, the PW occasionally repeats to himself in despair, akin to Daniel1 in Houellebecq’s Island.
The PW sees the madness as a terrible shame since his Polish upbringing suggests, if not dictates, that a woman is the embodiment of the ideal and appears to have a nature superior to that of a man.
One is reminded here of ‘premoulding grace’ by which theologians explain all the virtues of humanity through the ages (it is the Grace that is believed to be given by God to individuals before they are able to make a conscious choice regarding their Salvation, or, in other words, it is the Divine Grace that precedes human decision, and, importantly, an individual, esp. the one without concern for his or her dignity, would remain deaf to the solicitations of his or her conscience). The PW has always thought a woman to be the living representation of this ideal, and would have been willing to direct the words Quia apud te est fons vitae; in lumine tuo videbimus lumen (“For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light”, Psalm 36:9, KJV) to his lover as well as his Creator. In more mundane ways, this also means that everything that is best in the home is for the wife (mother) and children (if any). Not so when she’s gone mad!
Well. What more can be said. Oh, here we go. Yes, one may think that the PW’s writing far from the present-day’s much muh beloved Saint-Simonianism and closer to Pierre-Joseph Proudhon. Because it is. The PW’s ear at the tender age of 16 has been given to Proudhon on several occasions. P-J Proudhon, that French anarchist from Jurassic mountains who ran away from Marx like Jung ran from Freud, may have not yet been exorcised out of what is between the PW’s ears 35 years later. Let’s see.
Saint-Simonianism is a a socialist and feminist philosophical movement that emerged in the early 19th century in France during the early 19th century. It was founded by Henri de Saint-Simon, a French nobleman, and later developed by his followers. The philosophy of Saint-Simonianism was fundamentally rooted in the belief that society should be organized according to the principles of industrialism and scientific understanding. Saint-Simonians proposed that societal governance should be handled by industrialists and scientists rather than traditional political elites, given their practical knowledge and expertise. They also advocated for the abolition of private property, calling for wealth to be managed collectively for societal benefit. Another notable aspect of Saint-Simonianism is its strong advocacy for “gender equality”. Saint-Simonianism had a profound influence on later socialist and feminist movements, and its ideas continue to be of interest in the study of political and social history in all (left-turning) academia of today.
As for the coryphaeus of Saint-Simonianism, whose full name reads Claude Henri de Rouvroy comte de Saint-Simon (I kid you not), well, he led a rather tumultuous (or if one prefers a euphemism, ‘varied’) life. That hypocrite nobleman attempted to create a “New Christianity” which aimed to replace traditional Christian values with ones that placed a greater emphasis on productivity, science, and industrial development. He was known for his repeated financial failures and his reliance on patrons and supporters for funding. At one point, he found himself in debtors’ prison after one of his many speculative business ventures failed. The PW would say that stood in stark contrast to Saint-Simon’s influential ideas about the organization of society. His marital life was quite scandalous, too—he married his housemaid who was significantly younger than him and after she left him, he unsuccessfully attempted suicide and fell into a period of poverty and depression. His radical for the times he lived in lead to a popular movement that became infamous and then famous for its advocacy of ‘free love’ and the ‘liberation’ of women. That’s a story for winter evenings.
As another marginal note, one may recall that in December 2019, Finland’s government was formed by a coalition of five parties, all led by women, with the majority being under 35 years of age. There are some other countries that have made significant strides towards the so-called gender parity:
Spain: In 2018, Spain's government was notable for having a majority female cabinet (11 out of 17 members), a first in the country's history. This was under the leadership of Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez.
Sweden: While not holding a majority, Sweden was among the countries with a high level of gender parity in government, with approximately half of its ministerial positions filled by women.
Canada: In 2015, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau formed a gender-balanced cabinet, with 15 men and 15 women. It was the first time in Canada’s history that a Prime Minister had an equal number of men and women in their cabinet.