Teaching yoga is impossible; that is why it is difficult.
In my yoga class, I and the yoga students understand each another perfectly. They don’t hear what I say, and I do not say what they want to hear.
Yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory, I’ve been told. But the 99% practice is 99% theory and 1% practice, I add.
“Repetition is the mother of skill.” Only as long as there’s a skill in the repetition.
A person told me that participating in my yoga classes at the yoga studio helped him find a wife. That for me is one of my great successes. How easily I could have found myself in such an unfortunate situation.
Getting so little recognition can, dangerously, turn a competent yoga teacher into a megalomaniac. An incompetent yoga teacher is safe from that danger.
An experienced and wise practitioner does not interfere in his yoga practice.
“Yoga therapy”: If there’s nothing wrong with someone, the best way of curing him of this state is to explain to him what ailment he has.
Yoga therapy today: prescriptions written by patients.
In modern yoga there are no more creators, only representatives.
A great yoga teacher today is like a well-stocked pharmacist, but there is no guarantee you won’t get cyanide for a common cold.
All “online yoga” is what I call “electronic yoga”. Electronic yoga is the illness of which it believes itself to be the cure. (A reflection on the online seminar on using “yogic breathing and meditation techniques” as means of reducing Zoom-fatigue.)
The mission of electronic yoga teachers is to propagate yogic mystical experience to their viewers and simultaneously destroy all possibility for the experience to take place.
Electronic yoga is an intrusion into spiritual life.
The yoga teacher is an intrusion into an experienced practitioner’s practice.
How to sell the spectacle of electronic yoga to the mass audience? The secret of the electronic “yoga teacher”: Appear as stupid and make the practice as stupid as the mass audience so that they will believe that they are as intelligent as the teacher is.
The yoga mat became mobile when a “yoga teacher” for the first time decided to film and post online a clip of her “yoga”.
The practitioner who participates in electronic yoga sessions loves herself and seeks a practice that is not boring. A solitary yogin doing yoga on his yoga mat doesn’t love himself, is bored with his practice, but never bores himself.
It’s a sad epoch that converts the mystical yogic experience into a commodity. The next epoch, even sadder, follows when that commodity is fetishized.
Distraction and ekāgratā are tied together like coal and diamond1.
The sensuality of a woman who is bent in a half on her yoga mat is the primary reason men join yoga classes today or watch electronic yoga on the internet.
Tantra. A male teacher who boasts of initiating women into tantric mysteries is like a stranger who arrives at the hotel and offers to show the bellboy how to call a taxi.
The relationship between the so-called yoga teachers who propagate their “yoga for mental health” is the same as the relationship between drug dealers and high-school junkies.
The purpose of “yoga for the fulfillment of your emotional needs” is to console an urban woman on her way to, or after having arrived at, menopause.
Any conversation of the “Lululemon Ambassador” with a stranger: Arguably, the irrefutable proof that female buttocks exist because of yoga pants.
“Flow yoga”: the beats flowing from a bluetooth speaker are everything, the dance-like movements of scantily dressed women are something, the principles of yogaāsana are nothing.
It is high time children explained to their yoga-practitioner parents the mystery of the yogic experience.
A yogin’s suicide is committed in an excess of lucidity.
A practitioner who cannot be ugly is not a practitioner of proper hatha yoga.
In yoga’s modern times, the sensuality of a woman practicing the downward-facing dog is the primary source in which men try to renew their spirituality. The sexual man says: Whatever, it is a woman. The erotic man says: Yes, despite the down-dog, it is a woman.
Modern yoga should be, I say, the natural and necessary continuation of man’s spiritual growth, not the envelope of social justice manifestos.
The devil is an optimist if he thinks that he can make us, the modern teachers of yoga, more morally corrupt than we are.
As Sancho Panza follows Don Quixote, so do STDs trot on the heels of people who join yoga retreats.
The rights of yoga practitioners who are female are the duties of yoga instructors who are male.
In modern times, a “for women only” yoga circle is comprised of women from all walks of life who have one thing in common: their hatred of men. A “for men only” yoga circle doesn’t exist. And if it does, it comprises itself of men from all walks of life who have one thing in common: they’re all as gay as a lord. And that’s the end of it.
Having spent several weekends reading Karl Kraus, on Monday mornings I tried my humble hand at writing aphorisms of my own. May I ask Herr Kraus, please, to forgive me for paraphrasing several of his masterful gems to suit my need. My excuse is that I needed to hygienically air some grievances, accumulated over the twenty years of my yoga practice and teaching. (May the good Lord Ishvara grant me to now safely retreat to Alaska, or possibly Patagonia.)
In any case, thanks for reading my stuff. I kiss you on the mouth.
26 April, AD 2022
Ekāgratā (Sanskrit: एकाग्रता, “one-pointedness”; Pali: ekaggatā) is the intentional pursuit of one mentally-experienced object, with close and undisturbed attention. A yoga teacher usually emphasizes regular practice (abhyasa) of meditation and self-imposed discipline (tapas) to acquire ekāgratā.